In reference to Michael P. Mazzola's letter to The Citizen, dated May 19, 1999, regarding his departure from the "uncivilized" South:

If Southerners had known that serving pizza was a determining factor in people from the Northeast, north central states and the West Coast migrating to the South, rest assured you would not be able to scare up a pie anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line.

You should know that you will no longer be considered a Damn Yankee in the minds of most Southerners, since you have elected to leave our "uncivilized" community and return to culinary heaven. As the late, great Lewis Grizzard once said, "Yankees come to visit; Damn Yankees come to stay." My one regret is that you did not see fit to take a couple of other pizza-loving families with you as you depart.

All Georgia citizens interested in legislation to abolish all pizza parlors and/or the manufacture or distribution of pizzas in any way, form, or fashion in the great, "uncivilized" state of Georgia should write their congressman. With this legislation in place, maybe we can curtail the influx of elitist Damn Yankees to the area who, by the way, have caused most of the spoiling and overcrowding of the area in the first place.

As a going away present to you and your family I would like to offer y'all a large box of Aunt Jemima grits and a sack full of six-month Southern-style summers.